Transition

Losing a sense of time is an easy way to lose one's grip and even one's sanity.
- Nelson Mandela

I know I’ve already mentioned here once before that I feel even though life has given me a lot in the last four months, I simply have no account of what I have gained from or lost to it. And it definitely wasn’t a nice feeling, just pure lack of control over my life.

Not knowing enough about the outcome of my actions; not knowing what my next action would be; not deciding my actions based on what I wished to learn; feeling as if time just flew away; not knowing my long term goals and a lot more was creating a void of its own in my life, which I was trying to fill with lesser things, unimportant people and their views.

But none of it felt good in my heart.

And in a very “agar aap vote nahi kar rahe hain to aap so rahe hain...inko chai pilao” type moment, I met somebody who opened my eyes to this void and the fact that I already knew what I needed to do to fill it, but I was just not doing it.

And then I realised if now I don’t take account of my life, it will definitely pass me by. I needed to have my own foot on the accelerator of my life and my own hands on its steering.

And I am really happy to be able to write this here that I’ve now started doing things which have made the path I am walking visible to me. I finally have a to-do list and short term goals all clearly laid out. And trust me, it’s a great feeling.

I won’t say now I have absolute control over my life. I don’t know if anybody can ever have it. But having a destination in mind sure makes the journey easier.