Life...........

Life is not as easy as I supposed.

Problems are not solved in the way they are proposed.

Why I throw the ball outside the goal.

When I am standing just beside the pole.

It is like writing the same word all the time.

Can’t explain my feeling in my rhtyme.

People say life is what it is.

I ask, so what it is?

Can anyone answer me why my struggle is futile?

I weep daily but why it is difficult to bring a smile?

Questions, Questions unanswered why they are in my mind.

This ad that I am getting always but not of that kind

Dhiru dear, do not fear, even if questions are in queue.

Don’t search today the answer they will one day find you!!

Dheeraj Kumar

How to Install Love.......

hello all... i found this conversation on my friend's blog... so i am pasting here... hope u like it............



Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support : Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer : Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready, as long as you walk me through the steps. Tell me now, what do I do first?

Tech Support : The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer : Yes, but there are several other programmes running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support : Er... what programmes are running, can you list them for me?

Customer : Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support : No problem, you can go right ahead. Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programmes.

Love will eventually override Low Self-esteem with a module of its own called High Self-esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programmes prevent Love from being properly installed.
Tell me, can you turn those off?

Customer : Umm... let me see. Actually, I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how? Please help.

Tech Support : With pleasure. It's really quite simple. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer : Okay, done! Wow, Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support : Yes, but remember that you have only the base programme. It's quite basic. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer : Oops! I have an error message already. It says, 'Error’ Programme not run on external components.' What should I do now?

Tech Support : Don't worry, relax. It means that the Love programme is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer : So, what should I do?

Tech Support : Pull down Self-acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive Self; Realise Your Worth; and Acknowledge Your Limitations.

Customer : Okay, done. That wasn't too difficult.

Tech Support : Now, copy them to the 'My Heart' directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer : Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support : Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to pass it and its various modules around to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer : Thank you, thank you so much.


Hope u like it.........

New year Resolutions...........

I SOLEMNLY SWEAR AM UP2 NO GOOD!!!

so here are my new year resolutions........

1. Will do whatever my heart or brain will say. Will not be depend on others to make my life's decisions. After all its Dheeraj Kumar's life. so that i will not be having any excuses later, it will be my decision and i am the only responsible for the positive or negative of that.

2. Gain weight at least 20 Kgs. (Well i am feeling fine now.. jaundice effect is still here but i will recover)

3. Take up a new habit: smoking or gambling or playing guitar.(Well last one seems ok to me wht say?)

4. I will not waste my time relieving about the past , i will spent it in worrying about the future. Surely i can't change the past but i can change the future by doing good things in the present.

5. I will try to figure out why i need 5 E-mail ID's. Hehe

6. Stop gossiping or playing cards, i think playing cards is waste of time and gossiping is not for men. ;)

7. Drew up a list of people who were rude to me, will try to get back to them.

8. Will give more importance to my family and friends than my work.

9. Will rise in love again, oops sorry will fall in love.

10. I will not let my secrets to anybody excepts my close close ones.

11. Less chatting and concentrate on studies.

12. Try to be a good human being.(sorry thoda emotional ho gaya tha .. :))

Oye haan ... Wish u all a very very happy and bright new year.....
wish for me ... ki me apne sabhi resolutions ... ko pura kar saku...

A plastic smile

One of my several bad qualities is that I don’t smile , if I don’t actually feel like it . I would be sometimes absent minded if I am in the middle of work and may stare at a very well known face without a smile that may make him feel transparent. I don’t smile if I don’t know the person , I am not the kind who smiles at all friendly faces.



I was lectured many a times for my unfriendly attitudes- still did not change much. I still remain a very unfriendly person on encounters , at least the first few of them. Even then I have many good friends ( their fault) .Recently I was Told over and over again , that I NEED to Smile !!!! I was wondering .. DO I NEED to smile…..even if artificially? Why do Others feel My need to smile!!! Ha ha may be they NEED my smile? Huh? Complicated needs!!!



But I do laugh a lot , I do roar and make noise and laugh , but that is only in the circle where I go well with and only when I am relaxed .In the middle of work or when something is on my mind I am bloody well without a smile, a smug face and a totally no nonsense. But most of my colleagues and friends and others got used to my ways now –probably they did not have a choice .



I tried to look at the mirror in the bath and smile at my face. IT reflected a stupid face – all out of control and very unlike me. NO , that was Very artificial ? Oh – is that the point I was thinking of? An artificial plastic smile does no good to an ordinary face which is otherwise ok to bear with. I hate artificial smiles and people who adorn that plastic smile on their faces. I would feel better off with a stern or angry or sad face than a face that reflects a smile that says - all that he is showing u is artificial.



To smile artificially, without letting the other one know that it does not originate from heart – needs great talent. I salute the people who can do that. But I hate all plastic smiles. And even plastic emotions. I need to start accepting these plastics to be able to do it successfully. May be I have allergy towards duplicates..?



Still , now a days I am spending too much time in the bath. My friends screams at my door wondering what me is doing in . I tried to tell them- that I am practicing to smile. they looks at me with their strange ex-pression on face …I did not try to explain further…



When everyone says and wants me to put a bit of plastic, let me , na? May be I will win a few artificial hearts in the process? Not a bad idea at all!!!

what u say guys?????
Should i make it my new year resolution?

Hostel memories.... :)

I was feeling delighted. We both were smiling at each other.This was our 4th meet but first date together. She looked beautiful as usual "i" was preparing to begin the talk but this time luckily she started..

so wassup ?

my smile grew wider, and heartbeat 100+ ... i looked down, clicked the spoon twice on the plate and settled myself to begin...

it was then that i heard the annoying 4 beaps !! an SMS..
i took my cell out but a sudden noise THUD THUD THUD distracted me....

i asked her ," whts tht noise !!.... she said.. what? ..
i looked around, puzzled, thinking in what universe such a door knocking noise can come in the middle of a huge restaurant.

One more THUD THUD opened my eyes... i saw a small spider resting on the wall just 6 inches away from my eyes. I blinked once, then turned and with improper body movements..went to open the door and saw a distorted face hardly trying to move his toothbrush.He pointed to the wake me up ...tag on my door, i pulled it off and threw it on his face. Slammed the door and ran to see the SMS, it said --- come to class now!
It was already 8.. DAMN

I put on whatever i saw hanging and ran with the toothbrush. Pushing the same guy aside, I literally brushed my teeths, fastest ever and just ran asking him to be there for breakfast after the class.
An hour later, we were sitting quietly, stirring tea..and he asked," u look busted?

yaaa... a busted dream.

which one?

the same u had yesterday ..

Oh :D ... u know what ? we need a girl..

"a" girl?

i mean, ok... two !!

fair enough..

what did u see yesterday ?

I was just about to sing on the stage with A .R rehman when your #*&^ing THUD THUD woke me up..

:D .. a trail of tragic dreams..

we got back to our usual chit chat on other things - events, life, god, movies etc.....sat for half an hour and moved out.

In room, i went through the news paper cursorily and looked around... some what restless. It was high time for a change in life...even in things. Mission room-clean started, took all the things out... mopped the floor attentively, devoting each wipe to different but small tragedies in life :) .

The night saw a blast, we all sat for three hours and recollected all memories from the school days. It was just the heaviest ever laughter for most of us..... sharing funny moments, funny teachers, mistakes, innocence, the obedience and mischiefs ......even inacting them to experience the best entertainment :) .

Before crashing.... i could not stop myself from a desparate mischief. I set three alarms in my neighbor's cell with gaps of 30 mins, with a foolish but clear intention of shattering all his short and wacky dreams.

It was yet another day, a similar one, what we experienced for past hundreds of days..... but it was not dull enough to be forgotten. Knowing that these times will be cherished.... hope this write here will add at least a glimmer to the memories.